Reducing parental conflict and managing healthy relationships
All parents, whether they live together or are separated or divorced, will experience disagreements; it is a normal part of living together or raising a family. There are different stages of our lives where disagreements become more regular, for example with the arrival of a baby, or during a separation.
But when disagreements become frequent, intense, and remain unresolved, it can be a difficult time for everyone and may have a negative and long-lasting impact on children – even if parents don’t set out to expose them to any conflict.
Conflict between parents can include
- aggression
- criticism
- deliberate silence
- lack of respect (like regular put-downs, mocking the other parent or, sarcasm)
It can occur when parents have different parenting styles, are stressed about financial, housing or health issues, or when there are trust issues in the relationship.
How conflict affects children
Children are deeply affected by how their parents interact, and there is clear evidence that shows that parental conflict can lead to poorer outcomes for them.
When conflict is frequent or intense, it can cause stress, anxiety, and even long-term emotional issues for children. Children may develop behaviour problems, feel more depressed or anxious, and struggle in school and with friendships. These issues can continue into adulthood, affecting their relationships, job prospects, and mental health.
How we can help
We offer two free face-to-face courses in Central Bedfordshire and Luton designed to help parents enhance their relationships and manage arguments better.
Managing Healthy Relationships is a two-part workshop that will help parents and carers identify how arguments start within relationships, what can make arguments escalate and explore healthy ways to manage disagreements.
Keeping Your Child in Mind is a four-week course developed by experts in child psychology. It will help parents and carers understand how conflict in the family can impact children and help find better ways to manage disagreements.
Parents can use The Little Book of Relationship Care to read through and complete the activities in their own time. The book is a practical guide designed to help people understand why they argue and how they can reconnect and navigate their arguments in a more constructive way.
To find out more about the courses or to take part, or to get a copy of The Little Book of Relationship Care, get in touch with your local children’s centre (if you live in Central Bedfordshire) or Flying Start Centre (if you live in Luton).
Hear from some of our families
Here’s what some of our parents have said about the support we can offer:
I’ve learnt how to resolve conflict with people in a progressive manner that doesn’t cause tension or further arguments. Also, how to also understand other people’s methods of communication and resolving conflict as well as reflecting my own.
I’ve realised how damaging my behaviour has been and not just to ex. I’ve learned the impact it’s had on my children. Children should never need to be in the middle of their parents.
We are going to put what we have learnt into place, be more understanding with each other and put the children first.
Other resources
There are a number of other organisations who offer more information about parental conflict and how to manage it.